( 04.18.04)
JOE SUH

I have been coming to Southland for the last 5 months and I wanted to share my experience. I would like to cover 2 specific events; 1 - how and why I came to Southland and 2- the Encounter retreat.

I guess I should first lay some foundation – For the most part I had gone to church most of my life…pretty much as a youth and teenager. I accepted Christ as my savior in 7 th grade and I was on fire for God during this time. However, as time passed some things started to change. I was moving away from my relationship with God and replacing it with other things in life. I hit a crisis point when I moved away to go to college. At that point I was no longer close God and I started living as if God was never a part of my life. It became easier and easier to live how I wanted vs. how I used to live when I did have God at the center of my life. To be honest in the back of my mind I always knew I needed God, but life seemed too much fun for me at this point…without going into too much detail I was basically running amuck and living without God. I justified in my head why it was ok for me to do whatever I wanted. I figured God loved me no matter what…which is true…so instead of living for him I was living for myself and I figured God would simply forgive me later.

That is how things went for me up until last November. Right around that time I started to get an impression from God. He was impressing upon my heart to seek him out again. I wasn’t at any low point in my life, I wasn’t lonely, and there wasn’t anything dramatic going on, however, everywhere I turned God seemed to be there. I saw signs of Him, at work, at school, driving, and even at my dentist. At some point I thought this was just a coincidence, however looking back I realize that God was trying to re-establish a relationship with me. After all, as I have learned in EG…God is the one that takes the initiative…it is up to us to respond.

With all this going on, I saw my cousin Paul over the holidays and he invited me to Sara’s Bat Mitzvah. That is when something in me changed. I was there to celebrate my cousin’s birthday, but I was also surrounded by this body of Christ. That evening I sensed that it was time for me to come back to God…the Holy Spirit was in that place and through all of you I felt His presence. There is something very genuine and real about the members of this church that had a great impact on me…I could feel your love and passion for God. God used the members of this church to help me more sensitive to Him. After that evening we went back to Paul’s house and I spoke to him at length about everything. As usual I asked a myriad of questions. My whole life I have always looked up to and respected Paul. Moreover, I had noticed the change in him…pretty much at every family function at some point we would always get into a conversation about God. He was always willing to listen; he would try to do his best to answer my questions and he would always end with an invite to come out to church with him. He was never too pushy about it, but always consistent. This time I actually took him up his offer. So the story goes I came out to Southland the following Sunday and I haven’t looked back. So that was in a nutshell my journey back God…

Skipping forward I want to move onto my experience at Encounter. If for everyday I have been back walking with God he gave me a brick for my foundation, at Encounter, God showed up with a cement truck and finished the foundation. The experience at encounter was for lack of a better word…simply awesome. I had some reluctance before going to the weekend, but once I got there the Holy Spirit filled me and I had a meaningful encounter with God. It turned blind faith into something very real. As I listened to each talk and during the times of worship and ministry I could sense the presence of God in that place and in my heart.

Encounter helped me realize that God was with me was when He showed me he has always been with me. I shared with Barry and my group about something that happened when I was a child. My parents were divorced when I was very young. At the age of around 4 or 5 I had to make a giant decision. I had to go into judge’s chambers and tell the judge who I wanted to live with, my mother or father. Up until that point the biggest decision in my life was probably whether I would play in the sandbox or the dirt…but in reflecting back to that moment through prayer with my group and asking God to show me where he was at that time, I got a very clear picture that God was sitting right there with me in the backseat of the car on my way to the court. I realized that God has always been with me…from when I was born to every joyous occasion to every difficult moment…whether I knew it or not. God has unconditional love for all of us and at Encounter I felt and understood what that love really was. I understand now that I made it through that difficult time in my life because I had the love and support of the Lord. Up until encounter I never even thought about that time in life. Through the help of the brothers and the Holy Spirit I got a chance to actually see and feel the love of God.

The Holy Spirit was definitely present when we were at encounter. As we worshiped, heard different stories, prayed, and had fellowship the presence of God was very real. I felt the warmth from the Spirit and there was a renewed joy in my life. To make such a connection with God really makes a difference. I knew my relationship with God was getting stronger, but at encounter things became so much clearer. A complete submission to God was now very easy for me because I actually encountered God and felt His love upon me. I want to thank all the brothers that were there that weekend for the fellowship, the prayer and the valuable lessons I learned.

It was evident that at some point I lost my way, but God never gave up on me…he called for me again…and when I came back to Him…he opened his arms and loved as He always did. The amazing thing is that God’s love was always there; it was a matter of me accepting that love. Our God loves us so much he will initiate a love relationship with us over and over again until we engage Him. I am truly blessed that God did not give up on me. With the help of my cousin Paul and this body of Christ I was able to find my way back to the Kingdom. For that I will always be grateful…to the Lord and all of you.

To my cousins who are here today…you have all had such a positive influence in my life. I love the fact that we are all so close and I can rely on you for anything. Thank you for coming today and supporting me as you guys always do. However, I do pray for you all…that one day the Spirit will stir in your hearts. When that day comes I hope that I can be there for youb, because you guys have always been there for me. Paul, Leslie and Sara thank you for being a source of blessing for me so I could find my way home.

The last 5 months had been so amazing and I have come to this idea…at some point in life you have take the stick, draw a line in the sand, make a stand and say, “THIS IS MY FAITH…THIS IS WHAT I BELIEVE…THIS IS THE TRUTH”. I submit to you brothers and sisters…my faith is in God Almighty…I believe Jesus is my Savior…and the Truth is in the Bible…if you want it go and get it.

I still have to take each day as it comes. However, as long as I can remember to keep God as my first priority and not to compromise my faith for anything I know that my relationship with God will grow stronger. God is going to call upon me to do work for the Kingdom I want to be ready for that day…until then I am trying to do my best to glorify His name, listen for His voice and learn as much as I can so I will be able to stand up and confidently say…Hi my name is Joe and I am a minister at Southland.